Six lessons from the post: How I meet girls at house parties - no matter how bad I look.

1. Be free from expectations: I wasn’t expecting to be the best dressed and coolest guy in the party. I wasn’t even expecting to meet any new girls. I’ve found that high expectations can sometimes equal high pressure, nervousness and anxiety. If I go into a party with the goal of hooking up with the hottest girl in the house I’ll stress over making it happen all night. If I have zero expectations, I’m a lot more free and in the moment. My comfortable energy makes me attractive.

2. Force yourself to go out: I didn’t want to go to this party. I don’t want to go to most parties. We have lots of excuses- we’re tired, we have to work tomorrow, Family Guy is on. - it’s easy to come up with reasons to stay home. If I didn’t force myself to go out five nights a week I would have half as many girls in my life and I wouldn’t have been able to go on auto pilot when I walked into this party. I go out so much that I’ve formed good habits for dealing with social settings.

3. Practice scripted conversations: I used the gallon of water opener three different times and had the same conversation each time. After the first time I used it I had the groundwork to get me through the first two minutes of any conversation that night.

4. Talk to the first girl you see. Keep talking to every girl you see. Within two seconds of walking into the party I talked to the first girl I saw and then pulled another girl into our conversation. I’ve found that talking to every girl that ends up in front of me is more productive than lurking in a corner and having to turn on my personality when I see a girl I want to approach.

5. Don’t complain. I could have talked about how I felt terrible and how tired I was. Instead I talked about how great my week had been and how fun the pool was that day. Don’t be the guy who is whining about being tired or having a bad day.

6. Use sexual resistance to be more attractive: I pulled away from Mandy shortly after we started making out. This gave Mandy the opportunity to be the sexual aggressor. I stopped physical escalation with her while she was really enjoying it. This baited her into being the one that makes moves on me - and asking me back to her house.

Damnit.

A girl in short cut-off jeans is leaving the house. Her friend isn’t far behind.

I’m not angry because they’re leaving the party - I’m angry because this means there will be more hot girls inside.

I park my car and start to laugh. I’m sunburnt, dehydrated, and gulping from a gallon jug of water like I’m stuck in the Sahara.

The last 24 hours have been a dream. Jenson and I met gorgeous twin sisters at the pool, Jeremy’s four year crush said she loves him, and I went on a date with Molly - who is turning out to be a catch.

But tonight I’m saying hi to Mandy. Mandy is pretty but she has no cute girlfriends and never invites me to parties worth going to. I’ve come to this faux-modern white house on the corner of Highland and Foothill expecting to say hi to mandy and leave - but apparently I have work to do. Three girls just got out of a blue Jetta in front of me.

I walk into the house wearing a grey t-shirt and green and pink boardshorts. I’m still hugging my jug of water. Without it I’ll pass out and turn to dust.

Auto-pilot kicks in and I talk to the first girl I see.

“How much do I stand out holding this gallon of water when everyone else is holding a red cup?” I’ve been in the house for 2 seconds and I’m already talking to a short redhead with enough ass for three girls. She replies with a smile “Red plastic cups are such a cliche’, they’re at every house party you go to nowadays.”

There is another girl a few feet to my left so I raise my voice in her direction ” Hey I bet your Facebook shows a lot of photos of you holding red cups.” She’s tall and dark skinned with really short hair. Short haircuts on girls annoy me. But she’s wearing a little black skirt that’s dancing around the longest, softest legs I’ve seen in months - so I’ll let the bad haircut slide.

She looks at me and Redhead. I continue “My friend and I are just talking about how boring red plastic cups are. Wouldn’t it be nice to show up to a party with blue cups?” I’m speaking slow. I’ve learned that talking slow makes girls feel more comfortable than the rapid-fire-machine-gun-where-are-you-from-where-did-you-go-to-school crap that most guys throw at them.

Within a minute I’m leaning back against the wall explaining to Redhead and Horrible Haircut that the last couple days have been great. “It’s been one of those weeks where everything goes your way, I’ve been excited for the past five days straight” As I listen to my voice I sound oddly fulfilled “On top of that I was at the pool all day with friends. Now I feel like I need to sleep all weekend.”

I watch as both girls give me looks of approval. Apparently it’s okay to look terrible if you’ve earned it from a week of adventure.

I get Bad Haircut’s phone number and move to the next room looking for Mandy. Along the way I open two more girls using the “gallon of water opener.” Both girls take the bait and I have the same conversations with them. I’ve officially created the most bizarre way to start a conversation ever.

When I find Mandy she is on her way out “You came!” She jumps on me and wraps her legs around my waist. As fate would have it there is a bathroom two feet away, so I carry her in and close the door behind us. Before I can set her down on the sink, we start making out.

I pull away “Not so rough I’m sunburned.” She doesn’t care “No you’re not you’re sexy. ” Mandy likes me because I don’t take her shit. When I first met her I didn’t give her an ounce of attention - something most guys don’t have the self control to do - and she’s been nuts for me since.

She continues “My girlfriends are leaving so I’m going” She musters the cutest voice she can “but will you come by my house before you go home?” I agree and we leave the bathroom together. Bad Haircut sees us exit and I don’t mind. The old me would have been worried about what Bad Haircut thought - but the new me knows she won’t mind.

“Hey bro how do you know that girl?”

Whenever a stranger calls me bro, I don’t trust them. They want something from me.

I looked him over “Do I know you?” He looked like a 25 year old Antonio Banderas.

“Here’s the deal bro. I don’t know if that’s your girlfriend, but I’m a recruiter for an adult film company and I want to give her my card.”

I’ve been in Las Vegas for less than three hours and I’m already having run-ins with the adult entertainment industry.

“Are you serious?” Something about this guy combing nightclubs for girls to put in porn seemed creepy.

He smiled a sleazy porn recruiter smile. “Ya bro.”

This was too bizarre. I once hit a low point and watched porn for an entire weekend - and now I’ve just finished making out with a girl that is apparently hot enough to be in porn - at least by recruiter-bro’s standards.

I told him I’d known her for an hour. I wasn’t her manager or her father, so he could propose whatever he wanted to her. He did. And she declined.

A few minutes later I found recruiter-bro again. Over thumping bass and strobe lights I asked him the obvious question “Do girls seriously say yes sometimes?”

“All the time bro.”

He told me about the life of a porn recruiter - his sales pitch, pay scale, and the politics of his industry. I felt uneasy. While I’m out meeting girls for exciting life experiences, this guy is trying to turn them into “adult actresses.” I didn’t tell him what I do or teach. I don’t want the Cosmo routine being used to attract girls into a life of porn. (Seriously. Have you seen what Jenna Jameson looks like nowadays?)

He continued “Mainly I look for gorgeous blonds and redheads that are emotionally engaging” Then he said something odd “And guys with black hair and blue eyes.”

I was puzzled “you recruit guys to?”

“Oh ya bro, and guys with black hair and blue eyes are in demand. The girls want to do scenes with them.”

Call me over-obsessed, but this is what I look for. A piece of information that could help someone, somewhere, attract the type of girls that used to ignore them. This guy had given me my info for the night.

He gave me his card and when I got home I checked his recruiting website. About half way down the home page it read:

“Blonds, red heads, and black haired guys with blue eyes are always in high demand as are all natural girls.”

A year ago I met a girl named Justine. She was chubby and had a nose too big for her face. But she had long, thick, black hair and the brightest blue eyes I’d ever seen. I was enamored with her.

At my first job in cell phone sales - right out of high school - there was a girl named Jesslyn that worked next door in a different store. All of us at Cingular wirleless were obsessed with her - because of her bright blue eyes and jet black hair.

Last night, I had dinner with a good friend named Bastien. He had his hair dyed black a couple years ago so I asked him “How did girls react when you dyed your hair black?”

“Man, they were swinging on me. And remember how I had those contacts that changed my eyes to bright blue? Girls were nuts for them.”

He was right. I remembered the two girls he dated at the time and they were both top notch.

I ran this against my own experience. Once every couple years I dye my hair black - and girls seem to like it. My eyes are bright green, and I’ve had girls tell me that they like the contrast of the two colors.

Dying your hair is cheap and easy. Colored contact lenses are cheap to.

Just watch out for the porn recruiters.

It sat on her coffee table with the same offensive aura as a porno mag

I met her two hours ago at The Ivy in San Diego - and I would have never pegged her as The Notebook type. Apparently this movie is like the Star Wars of female movie obsession.

I’ve watched The Notebook once. The story was cool - but forgetful. I’d have forgotten it by now if I didn’t constantly see it in girls DVD collections.

“Oh great” I mused “I thought you’d have more original taste in movies.”

I picked up the DVD case from the table and gave it a close look. I recalled an image from the movie. This one:

I have to start picking up girls and twirling them. Maybe that’s why girls are obsessed with this movie. They want to be picked up and twirled in construction yards in 1942.

This past weekend, I met three different girls. Cherii - A self obsessed Cuban girl with fake boobs and big brown eyes, Vanessa - a 19 year old college sophomore with a new pit bull puppy, and Jenny - an insecure but gorgeous brunette that lives in a really old house downtown with 4 super cute roommates.

I met all of them on Friday and Saturday night. Last night (Sunday), I made the rounds with my friend saxon and visited all of them at their houses. Seeing a girl for the second time can be un-nerving. You have to make a seamless transition between the good impression you made when you met, and the new adventures you’re about to have.

Enter the pickup-hug-twirl.

When we got to each girls house, I had her come outside to meet me. As she was walking out of her house, I walked up towards her, hugged her around the waist, picked her up, and twirled her.

It worked like a charm.

All three of the girls were excited, and all three of them wrapped their legs around my waist. I’ve done this in intimate situations before, but never just for the sake of doing the pickup-hug-twirl. This weekend I learned that it’s an awesome way to get girls emotionally excited and happy. It sets the tone for excitement and lots of touching.

A couple notes:

1) When you hug the girl, crouch down slightly to hold her around her waist or stomach. The lower you hug her, the easier it is to pick her up and keep her there.

2) Pay attention to her body. If she wraps her legs around you, you can spin her around a few times and really milk the moment. If she just lets her legs fly around behind her, keep it to one twirl and set her down.

3) Pay attention to her voice. If she’s screaming with enjoyment, keep the moment going. If she’s not, keep it short and set her back down.

This is my mood ring routine. The video is short (1 min 30 sec) and straight to the point.

I can’t remember how I got my first mood ring, but I’ve found that girls notice and comment on a mood ring more often than a normal gold or silver ring. Mood rings are more fun. You can also use a mood ring in the Indian Giver routine.

UPDATE: For ideas on what different colors might mean, go here. Thanks to Harpreet for the assist.

P.S. If you’re wondering why my nails are white, this girl painted them last night. Not the first time, won’t be the last.

These videos show you how to use magic in your game.

• Video one  - How I use magic in my game. (5 min 14 sec)
• Video two - How I practice both tricks (37 sec)

Important: Focus on learning how to perform these tricks and using them to excite people. Just knowing how the tricks are done won’t get you anywhere.

Video One:

Video two:

Not too long ago I was at a Britney Spears concert. Before you start hating, think about how many girls are at a Britney Spears concert.

On the way to the show one of the girls with us decided it was a good idea to start painting my fingernails. When we got to the arena, she had only finished three of them. My middle finger, ring finger and pinky finger were all painted red. When we got to our seats, I immediately started talking to a group of girls that were sitting behind us. One of the girls noticed my finger nails and offered to paint my other two fingernails yellow (I guess girls just carry this stuff around). By the time she was done my left hand looked like a McDonald’s sign.

When the concert finished up, my friends and I went to an after party at someones house. While I was there, two different girls asked me the same question: “What’s up with your fingernails?” I couldn’t blame them for asking because my hand looked pretty stupid. I told the girls that a friend of mine painted three of them red and that another girl painted the other two yellow. As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I realized what I had done.

I had conveyed to them that there are girls in my life who like me enough to touch me and paint crazy colors on my fingernails. Most guys have no girls in their life. For me to convey that I had spent time with at least two girls in the past three hours was very powerful. The party girls were intrigued.

The next weekend I went to a huge party in Salt Lake City, Utah and carried out an experiment. I painted three of my nails purple, two of them red, and went around the party talking to everyone. I got questions all night about my nail polish, and girls became curious when I told them about my two girlfriends that painted them earlier in the day.

If you paint your nails black, people assume that you painted them black. But if you show up to a party with a rainbow on your nails,  people wonder what’s going on. If you’re having some issues with approach anxiety, give this a shot and try enticing some girls to ask you “Whats up with your fingernails?”

Indian Giver: -Noun informal. Someone who gives something and then takes it back.

Last night I was an Indian giver and it got me three different girls numbers.

“You homo, get out of bed and come to this cocktail party.” Kimberly harassed me with text messages until I got up, cracked open a Redbull and drove there half asleep. As I walked into the top story loft over-looking downtown I immediately approached a group of three people. One guy, and two girls.

“How do you guys fit into this circus?” They gave me different answers about how they knew what’s-his-name and used to go to school with who-ever. One of the girls - a short blond with a fake cheetah skin purse - blurted out  “oooh that’s a really cool necklace.” I took off my key necklace, put it around her neck and said “Okay, you can wear this for a second, I’ll be right back.”

After I walked around the party and met some other people I saw the cheetah purse girl again and told her that her time was up. She gave my necklace back to me and I told her that I really liked jewelery with sentimental value. Cheetah purse girl responded that she did as well (all girls do).

This started a conversation about the bracelets both of us were wearing and the sentimental value they had to us. After five minutes I learned a lot about what mattered to her in life and she learned the same about me. I got her phone number just before she left and within one minute of watching her walk out the door I opened another group of three girls. One of them immediately commented on my key necklace. I took it off and told her she could wear it for a second because it matched her black dress. Then I walked out on the balcony to check the view.

Five minutes later the black dress girl walked up to me and gave me back my necklace. I thanked her for not stealing it because the necklace had sentimental value. This started the same conversation I had with Cheetah purse girl less than 15 minutes before.

Three different girls wore my key necklace last night. All three of them gave me their phone numbers. Indian giving works for me because of these reasons.

1. Putting my necklace on a girl is sort of like branding a horse. When someone asks her why she’s wearing it, she points to me and tells them it’s mine. It also makes her not leave the party without finding me, cause she has my stuff.
2. When I give her the necklace and walk away I show that I’m not needy and I can go be social with other girls. She notices that I’m not like most guys who hit on her all night and she gets to become curious about me as I move around the party.
3. When she gives me back my necklace, I easily segue into a conversation about the sentimental value of jewelery. This lets us get to know each other on a very genuine level because she can tell me about her best friend Tiffany that got her this super cute ring when she was in spain (or whatever).

To apply this to your game you need to bring something with you that girls will notice and say they like. I’ve done this with scarfs, necklaces, sunglasses and even a megaphone. From my experience it works best with a really cool necklace. But get creative and see what you can come up with.

The perfect pickup line isn’t always necessary. Throwing out fun vibes can work just as well, sometimes even better.

There is a band called 3oh!3 with a hit song out right now called “Don’t trust me”. I think the song is pretty annoying, but if you jump on myspace and look at 100 random girls pages, you’ll hear this song playing on about 40 of them. The chick’s are digging it.

The past couple weeks, we have been having loads of fun goofing off with this song and reeling girls in.

At a club recently, there were 4 girls at the bar area, all really good looking and all looking pretty bored with what was going on around them. I got up from our table, walked by them at a 90 degree angle, and started singing the lyrics to the 3oh!3 song even though it wasn’t playing.

“Ssssh! Girl, shut your lips. Do the Helen Keller, and talk with your hips!”

As I sang this (it’s really more of a chant) I did a little dance and poked my fingers up in the air. Then I did little circles over one of the girls heads with my index finger, kind of like I was drawing a halo floating above her.  About half way through the first line, right after I said “Do the Helen Keller”, three of the girls started singing the song with me and dancing along while the fourth one started laughing. I took one of the girls hands and gave her a twirl, and another girl jumped behind me and started hugging me and singing from behind. We sang this line 3 times in a row just like in the song, and afterward I said “Wow, you girls seem sorta fun.” We hung out with them the rest of the night.

I have done this about 7 times since then. Here’s why I think it works.

1. I smile and acknowledge them at the beginning, but that’s it. I look away immediately.

2. When I’m singing and dancing, I’m smiling and having lots of fun. It looks like I would do this even if the girls weren’t there.

3. The split second that they notice I’m there, I point down on one of the girls heads and make circles with my finger, like I’m beckoning her to “talk with her hips”. Even while I’m doing this, I am turning my body away so it doesn’t seem like I’m hitting on her.

4. When I’m twirling my finger, and turning away, this is where the girls start singing, and/or grab me or dance with me.

If your the type of guy that’s wants to go out and get girls grinding all over you on the dance floor, this works better than just walking up behind girls and trying to hump them. It shows your personality and it’s more fun for the girls.

If dancing and singing isn’t your thing, you can always do stuff like the driver’s license pickup line instead. If you’re feeling nervous before approaching, a new page on approach anxiety is up.

There is a trend I have noticed among pickup artist’s. Most of the best ones have a background in video games and computer nerd-ery. I’m talking about guys who used to do nothing but play video games, and were terrible with girls.

At some point in these computer nerd’s lives, they realize their dating life sucks, and beating Gildadore the beast level 4 boss in a video game doesn’t satisfy them anymore. What happens next is quite remarkable. I have seen scrawny, pimply faced computer nerds turn into suave players in a matter of two months. I used to be puzzled by this phenomenon, but I have an idea why now.

Computer nerds view dating the same way they view a video game. A series of levels that are met in succession to achieve an end goal.

Just like gathering six tokens to buy a battle axe to beat Gildadore the beast and save the princess, the nerd turned pickup artist opens a set, neg’s the target, demonstrates higher value to the group, isolates his girl, kino escalates, and kiss closes. Everything is just a logical line of actions that leads to a phone number, leading to a date, leading to a kiss. A trained computer nerd turned pickup artist can get more girls than the former high school football player any day.

I’m not saying that in order to be good with girls, you have to be a video gamer, but the computer guys seem to be less emotionally involved and nervous about how girls perceive them during the pickup. Other guys have a tendency to get insecure and worry that the girl doesn’t think they are good looking or cool. The video gamer just follows the levels of the game and sticks to the plan. He isn’t emotionally invested in the outcome of any one girl, because he knows if he gets rejected, there are other girls around. It’s just like getting killed by Gildadore the beast and knowing you have 9 lives left.

By detaching yourself from emotions, and just focusing on the levels of the game, you can attract most any girl you want.